"Girl Gets Attacked by Manatee."
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A girl on spring break was swimming in a lake in Florida recently, when a manatee started swimming next to her. Even though they only eat plants . . . she started freaking out. She did an interview afterward, and said she didn't know whether or not manatees were dangerous.

The look on her face is priceless.

  • Mornings 6-10am
    It was on a shadowy day in spring when my father, Zeus, became glazed over on a fine bottle of God Beer and committed an incomprehensible error in judgment ---- as he had a one-night stand with a unicorn.

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