DAILY DUMBASS 7.14.17
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A drunk guy in Ohio was arrested after he crapped himself and tried to sell candy to people.

Neighbors said the man was in a stranger’s backyard earlier in the night and fondling himself.

When officers arrived the man was sweating profusely and had pooped in a chair. He had dozens of bags of candy which they believe were stolen from a convenience store. He was also naked.

It isn’t known what charges the guy is facing.

  • Mornings 6-10am
    It was on a shadowy day in spring when my father, Zeus, became glazed over on a fine bottle of God Beer and committed an incomprehensible error in judgment ---- as he had a one-night stand with a unicorn.

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